Life Support

GORDON
...Look, I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what i don't know

GORDON & ROGER
Because reason says I should have died
3 years ago
~*~"Life Support" RENT

In about 12 hours I'll be on my way downtown to see Finding Neverland! Woot woot!

Okay so I tried to go to bed, but then this hit me so now I have to write it down. I was surfing around tonight (after watching BLOW) and was mostly at a Jai site and a Johnny site (no surprises there). And I got to thinking. Johnny only does movies that mean something to him. All of his stuff has a message. It's all important, and he surrounds himself with people he cares about, who are really interesting diverse people.
Jai was in RENT. And gushy as this may be, Rent DOES have an amazing message... I wish I could be a part of something that is as important as those things... Johnny's movies... Rent is changing the world, if only in the most subtle ways. From things I've read in the last month, so many people's views about things have changed since they saw the show... And that's not the only thing. And so I was lying here thinking, and I was just like, 'how can I be a part of something as amazing as that?'
I've realized now that I would really love doing Broadway. The actors all come out after the show and sign autographs and take pictures, and really get to connect with the fans. I would love that. That isn't the main point though - it's about being able to connect with people on that level... And know you're really doing something that means something. Jonathan Larson once said "It's not how long you're here, it's what you do while you're here." Well I'd rather die in 5 years but have changed something than to live to be 85 and have sat on my ass doing nothing.
I'd die tomorrow if I knew I would be changing something for the better that would help the world... Every day I try to think of something small I can do to help. It doesn't change the world, but it may brighten someone's day. And that's what I have to start with. But if I ever get to Broadway, and to Hollywood, I'll be making my own choices for real - and for something important. The only reason I want to be famous is to be able to spread a message. I don't want to make movies to become famous - I want to make movies because I love to act. Being famous would be a bonus. But if I end up like Johnny - making 30 movies before anyone really notices - I couldn't give a damn, as long as I'm doing what I want. And then, when people finally find me, I'll have something to say.