I'll Cover You (Reprise)

COLLINS
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back with 1000 kisses
Be my lover
And I'll cover you

Open your door - I'll be your tenant
Don't got much bagage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there - I'll cover you

I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you were, my love, on life

All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true
As this is

(So with a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you)
If you're cold and you're lonely
(With a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you)
You've got one nickel only
(With a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you)
When you're worn out and tired
(With a thousand sweet kisses I'll cover you)
When your heart has expired

525, 600 minutes
525,600 moments so dear
525,600 - measure a year
Oh lover, I'll cover you
Oh lover, I'll cover you
Oh lover

I'll cover you

525,600 minutes
525, 600 seasons of love

I'll cover you
~*~"I'll Cover You (Reprise)" RENT

Wow... These songs are taking forever to get through! Ahhhh! Anyway. On to other things, because I will not be spazmatic today. I don't have the energy.

Got home last night around 1 in the morning. The cast party was fun. It ended up being at Eddie's house instead of Eric's, but that was fine. Got to have a big group conversation about stuff with a lot of people. Kevin, Justine, Linda etc. were fun to be around, and I got to talk to people I hadn't really talked to during the show. Micheal didn't come to the cast party, but I did get to talk to him backstage, and that was good.

Today I went to church and we had soup kitchen!!! Wooo! Never underestimate the power of food to get people to come to things. I haven't seen that many people at church in a while. And then I got to go to my first congregational meeting, because I'm a member now! (woot woot) That was really fun, actually, because it went smoothly and only lasted 40 minutes. Unlike our infamous 4 hour meetings. So after that me and Mandy went and saw Finding Neverland. That movie puts a smile in my heart. So does Mandy. :)

Okay anyway. Gonna try and post at least a poem, because I need to go in 5 minutes, again.

Uprising
To stand for something
Is to be worth something
But what do I stand for?

I stand for equality
That I am afraid to defend

I stand for love
That I know nothing about

I stnad for peace
That I can not create

I stand for myself
That I am afraid to be.
--11.17.04

Closer Yet
I find it rather inconvenient
Falling in love with
Straight girls
Gay boys
What am I to do
So that I'm not
Left alone?
--11.17.04

Non-Existant Hallucinations
It's very lonely
In the silence
Waiting for the voices
That I know will come
Because I hate so much
To be alone that
I fabricate my life
With nonesistant
Hallucinations
If ever they were
To go away
I would be doomed
To insanity
If I'm not
Insane already
--11.18.04

Okay, going for now. Love to all cause love is good.

Contact

ANGEL
Take me
Take me
Take me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today me
Tomorrow you
Tomorrow
You, love
You, love
You, love
I love you
I love you
Take me
Take me
I love you
~*~"Contact" RENT

So things have been interesting lately... So much going on. Had opening night of the play last night, and that went well... Closing night tonight! Trying to make sure all my speech stuff is memorized for the big SICA speech meet on Tuesday. I have a new job now at ITC, working backstage and stuff, so all details coming up in this issue of my blog! (too much coffee this morning)

Last night went well. Very well, I think. No big disasters. And afterwards almost the entire cast went out to eat at Baker's Square. Talked to Michael about some stuff... I rode in Eddie's car. It was fun. lol. Didn't get home till about 12:30 and went to bed at 2.

Tonight there's a cast party after the show at Eric's house. That shall be much fun also. I think just about everybody is going to that too. More about that after it's happened.

Still working on getting my OO memorized properly. Hadn't been doing so because Morain was supposed to help me rewrite it and that didn't happen. Oh well. Things are going okay, I think.

And yeah, now I'm working backstage for "A Year With Frog and Toad" at ITC. I have to do some puppet work, and help out with props and costumes and stuff, so from now until December 19th I have no life because I will be at rehearsal almost every day and then I have to be at every show. How exciting! But it does pay well, so that's okay. It will be fun and awesome.

I was gonna post poems, but I have to go because I need to be at school in 20 minutes, and I better make sure I'm ready for my ride to pick me up. See you all later!

Voicemail #4

ALEXI DARLING
Mark Cohen
Alexi Darling
Labor Day Weekend
In East-Ampton
On the beach
Just saw Alec Baldwin
Told him you said "hi"
Just kidding
We still need directors
You still need money
You know you need money
Don't be afraid of ker-ching ker-ching
Markie, sell us your soul
Just kidding
We're waiting
~*~"Voicemail #4" RENT

Not much to say today. I'm busy, but it's all with the same stuff all the time, so there's nothing interesting to tell you guys, except something I can't tell you. Anywho.

I suppose I can post poems as I always do. Though I've written some I'm not going to post, because they're private. Okay but here goes.

Oh wait, nvm. There's only a few and I don't wanna post them. Sorry.

Alonzo I love you very very much and I'm here for you... So is someone else! (AAHHHH!!!!) {shutting up before I get myself in trouble}

So as I was saying. Let's see... Been feelin kinda sad lately. Not totally sure why. Just lonely, I guess, even though I have a few friends... Hmh. Interesting, isn't it, how the human mind works? Damnit... I'm about to get into a philisophical thing (as I so often do), and now I g2g.

Love to all cause love is good. (post comments! just for the hell of it!)

Without You

MIMI
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you
The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you
~*~"Without You" RENT

And that song just goes on and on for ever, so we'll leave it at that. Anyway. Got into a thoughtful mood last night around midnight and wrote some poems, which I'd like to share along with a few others I wrote a while back, (BTW - it's it amazing? I'm on 2 whole days in a row! not weeks, days!)

A New Kind of Love
When I see your eyes
They sparkle like stars
And when I see your mouth
You face shines like the moon
As you walk through the field
I am watching you
Then it starts to rain
And I am sad for you
I want to bring you an umbrella
But then you'd know I was watching
So I wait for you to pass
And suddenly you are dancing
Spinning away the raindrops
Becoming a beautiful fountain
Flashing in the spray
I cannot hold back any longer
So I run to dance with you
I run between the raindrops
And then blend in with the falling
When the rain stops
The sun comes out
And finally you notice me
Because we are alone
Our gazes meet and I know
We are the same
I feel your soul
Never did I know such a connection existed
As the one I feel with you now
So please just love me
Together we can fight any opposition
In this hateful world.
--11.5.04

Real World
Finally things
Are going your way
So maybe you don't
Have to be scared
Anymore.
Things are going so well
It's as though
You left the real world
Behind. And left
Me behind in it.
--11.9.04

For Forgiving
It has taken me
All this time to realize
That we were never
Meant to be
But I still wish
I hadn't given up
Yes I know now that I
Gave up
I am lucky just to
Have you
As a friend
I hope he knows
How lucky he is
Better than I did.
--11.9.04

Storms Ahead
I caught you like
A wispy cloud
So sweet and innocent
Honest and caring
What we had was beautiful

But you can't hold clouds for long.
--11.12.04

For Mandy
This
A poem
For one of the
Strongest people
I know
Who is caring
Original
Sensitive
Enthusiastic
Encouraging
Understanding
Pure
And for all this
A beautiful person
Who I love.
--11.14.04

For Alonzo
After all
That I've done
The only thing
I can do now
Is say I'm sorry
And thank you
Because I want you
To be happy
That's the least
You deserve
For all that you've done
For me.
--11.14.04

For Chi Chi
There was a time
You never knew about
Whe I was just glad
To have you there
I am still glad
You're here now because
I don't know what I'd do
Without you.
--11/14/04

For Shannon
I only want to asky
Why you don't care
That we lost such a bond
How best friends
Could become strangers
Part of me will always
Be empry because
You meant - mean
So much to me
Through all the moments
We shared
And thoughts we never spoke
But always knew
Were there
I was told friends are forever
I guess forever
Wasn't long enough.
--11.14.04

For Molly
What can I say
That hasn't been said
Before?
I am tired of repeating myself
And being unappreciated
You want to make this work
Then work
Is what you'll
Have to do.
--11.14.04

LinZ Says
LinZ says people
Are like trains
Picking up friends
Like passengers
And dropping others
Off.
Some are lazy
And didn't want to go far
So they only ride
For one stop
But some people
Stay on forever
Because they think it's fun
To ride the train.
If that train ever
Goes off course,
The passengers
May die too.
--11.14.04

And with that, I leave you to mull over your thoughts (and mine) and then post comments. Please! More coming soon, my mind is still buzzing. Love to all cause love is good.

Seasons of Love B

COMPANY
In diapers, report cards,
In spoked wheels and speeding tickets
In contracts, dollars, in funerals in births in
525,600 minutes
How do you fingure
A last year on earth

Figure in love
Figure in love
Figure in love
Measure in love

Seasons of love
~*~"Seasons of Love B" RENT

Ok so what, a week has gone by now? I've been soo frickin busy! ARG! And thanks everybody for commenting. Thank you, anonymous, for showing your ignorance. And squishy... if it makes you feel better, then I'm happy to be here. Anyway. So not much time, as usual, just wanted to check in and say hey before I'm off again. Been super busy with everything. Had my first speech meet yesterday. That was fun. and a litttle scary. But it's all good. And this weekend is the play... and I have 2 weeks off before I have to usher again, so I have a little bit of a life for a little bit!

To people in love: You lucky lucky bastards. And it's adorable.

To people I'm mad at: I bet I still love you. Talk to me.

To people I haven't seen in a while: I miss you all millions!

To myself: I miss you! I wanna go to NY and stay there and leave this shit behind!

Okay no more schizo for tonight. g2g. Love to all cause love is good. Post comments!

Take Me or Leave Me

MAUREEN
A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage
Baby, let's have fun!
~*~"Take Me or Leave Me" RENT

Winding down... extremely slowly, as I'm barely posting once a week. Just got back from work a little while ago and felt like posting (and actually had time, !) so here I am. Before I get to the boring details of my life though, here are some poems (that way, if I run out of time, at least I haven't wasted it all on stuff you may already know).

{A few sentiments for our *cringe* president}

Acknowledging
In our society I see
That which has always been present
But never spoken of
A barrier, tearing a world apart
This barrier we must destroy
Nothing should deny an equality
That we fight for every day

Who are we, fools
To allow ignorance to rule
Our country is full of hate
Religious bias interfering
With a right that is unconditional
--10.7.04

Lessons
All people are created equal
That's what I learned in religion class
The Constitution demands equal rights for all
That's what I learned in history class
We can't control our hormones
That's what I learned in health class
Love is the most important thing to give and receive
That's what I learned in life
How can one man think he knows best?
Who is he, to define love?
If all people are created equal,
And we have equal rights,
And we can't control our hormones,
And love is the most important thing in the world,
Then how can we let anyone take that away?
--10.7.04

We the People
If I am an American
Then I have the right to safety
If I am an American
Then I have the right to freedom
If I am an American
Then I have the right to individuality
If I am an American
Then I have the right to choices
If I am an American
Then I have the right to equality
If I am an American
Then I have the right to love anyone I want.
--10.7.04

Ground Rules
A woman loves a woman
A man loves a man
Ignoring any gender
All that is left
Is love
A love that should
Be denied no right
Be embraced as beautiful
Be understood as equal
And be respected for love.
--10.7.04

Living or Lying
No one can tell me
What I want to do
No one can tell me
What I want to be
No one can tell me
How I want to live
So why should someone tell me
Who I want to love?
--10.25.04

{On to bigger and better things, I suppose}

The Wheels Turn
I watch the boy skate
As the busses line up
Though I don't know his name
I can't help but stare
Because I see the contrast
of the boy and the bus
He, so free as the
Prisons line up.
Those prisons soon to be filled
With schoolchildren
Forced into the chaotic din
And then forced out into the wind
In the place they must call home.
--11.3.04

Phobia
I love a girl
Who doesn't love me
Now wait a minute,
That's not true

She does love me
But not in the same way
It's a little confusing,
Isn't it?
--11.5.04

Johnny Says
Johnny says being
A "serious actor"
Is and oxymoron
Like "republican party"
Or "airplane food"

I think I agree.
--11.6.04

Pirate's Life
I see the smiles
On the children's faces
When they talk about their favorite movie.
The Pirate movie.
"Yo ho yo ho
A parrot's life for me."
They sing and laugh.
I smile
Because they can be happy
Even though they don't
Know the song.
And I wish I
Could make children happy
Too.
--11.6.04

Friends Anymore
When I get
Out of school
Everything changes
And I don't
Have friends
Anymore.
Because
We can't transcend
The void
From school friends
To real friends.
--11.6.04

{A few last thoughts...}

Creating Liberty
Your face bathed in the pale orange glow
A breeze slips between us
My hair blows about, trying to obscure my vision
I watch your fingers dance on the strings
Music floting from the guitar to the sky
Eyes have never witnessed such rapture
As you free the notes into the stars
Your eyes sparkle, reflecting your passion
Beauty flows from your soul into the night
A night made more precious by you.
--10.5.04

Fallen Heroine
She tried to hold up the world
But she failed and thousands died
Now she lives in exile
An unworthy savior
She walks away in disgrace,
Her red cape trailing on the ground
The shadow of a fallen heroine.
--10.13.04

Stepping Down
It's much too hard
To walk away
From the greatest thing in your life
Knowing there may
Never be
Something this wonderful again
Trying to hold on
Makes it
Slip away faster until
All that's left are negatives
But ignoring it
Makes it go
Away too.
--10.17.04

Double Entandra
Right in front of my eyes
You forget about me
And I'm ignored
Right to my face
You pretend I'm not even there
And I'm alone
If that's what you do right to my face
Or right in front of my eyes
I wonder what you're doing
Right behind my back
--10.22.04

Whew! Lots of typing. Okay well that's all for now. I haven't really been up to anything interesting, anyway. Just the usual school stuff, and work, and so on and so forth. Blah. *Dances away to the music in her head*

Happy New Year B

ANGEL
People, is this any way
To start a new year
Have compassion,
Benny just lost his cat

BENNY
My dog
But I appreciate that

ANGEL
My cat had a fall
And I went through hell

BENNY
It's like losin' a-
How did you know that she fell?
~*~"Happy New Year B" RENT

Okay, feel like posting some poems, because they've piled up since September. Let's see what's in the vault...

Relenquish
Keep away from the fraying edges
As your reality shrinks to nothing
Doomed on a dying island
With nowhere to go but drowning

Forgotten in the world of the sleeping
Is a safety net now left to the dead
Useless are all our defenses
Stay away from the lurking dawns

A sparkling in the distance
The blade of your final demise
Creeping forward, ever watching
Eternally the only one
--9.27.04

Swan Song
I'm sitting on a chair
In a barren, empty room
Listening to the raindrops
Falling on the window
There's a single light
Shining overhead

But suddenly the chair
Is on a fully furnished stage
And the raindrops are the applause
Of the audience above
The light has become brighter
As a spotlight on my face

Filled with the urge to perform
I jump up and begin to dance
Singing and acting, belting out a show
Like no one has seen before
And no one will see again

I finish the show
Exit the stage
Ready to come back for my bow
But when I pass by the curtain,
The audience is gone
And I'm left with a chair in a room in the rain.
--9.29.04

Voice Mail #3

MARK'S MOM
Mark, it's the wicked witch of the west
Your Mother
Happy new year from Scarsdale
We're all impressed that the riot footage
Made the nightly news
Even your father says "mazeltov"
Honey, call him
Love Mom
~*~ "Voice Mail #3" RENT

Agh suddenly nothing matters anymore and i don't remember what i was gonna say cause i'm tlaking to leslie who MET JOHNNY DEPP ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

end of post. more when i can think straight again (i.e. never)