Do You Know What it's Like?

MIKE: Do you know what it's like
To be in love with you,
To have my heart still love you
When my mind knows it's not true?
Do you know what it's like
To be in love with you,
Not to remember what my life was like
Before I first met you?
Do you know what it's like when I lie in bed
And I think of you and the things you've said,
How they're almost exactly all the things that I've said, too?
But there's one word missing and it comes before 'love?
And I think it doesn't matter, what we have is enough,
But what we have isn't in so I don't know what to do?
Oh, do you know?
STEVE: Do you know what it's like
Not to be in love with you,
Not to have my heart obey
What my mind wants to be true?
Do you know what it's like
Not to be in love with you,
But to like you, love you, cherish you,
idolize you and protect you?
Do you know what it's like to look into your eyes
And see what I know you don't see in mine
Though I pray it might be so the whole night through.
Do you know what it's like
to have to let go of your hand
and to start another life, a life I don't understand,
and live the rest of my life knowing how much I've hurt you?
Oh, do you know?
KATE: I know I'll never find your lovin' in anyone else,
Though I'll try'oh, and I'll try?
And I know I'll never find your smile in anyone else,
Though I'll try'oh, and I'll try?
ROBERTA: If someone were to come up to me
and say that they knew how
to love you better, I'd say,'Buddy,
step into the ring you're going down.?
I'd fight a guy for you. I'd fight a girl for you.
I'd fight myself, you know I would,
If I thought it'd do any good.
Oh, do you know?
STEVE: Do you know what it's like...not to be in love with you
MIKE: Do you know what it's like...to be in love with you
KATE: I know I'll never find your lovin' in anyone else
ROBERTA ...in anyone else
STEVE: not to have my heart obey what my mind wants to be true?
MIKE: oh...when my mind knows it's not true?
KATE: though I'll try... oh, and I'll try.
ROBERTA: ...though I'll try...oh, and I'll try.
STEVE: Do you know what it's like...not to be in love with you
MIKE: Do you know what it's like...to be in love with you
KATE: And I know I'll never find your smile in anyone else
ROBERTA: ...in anyone else
STEVE: but to like you, love you, cherish you, idolize you, and protect you?
MIKE: but to like...and love...
KATE: though I'll try... oh, and I'll try.
ROBERTA: ...though I'll try...oh, and I'll try.
STEVE: Do you know what it's like to look into your eyes
and to see what I know you don't see in mine
MIKE: Do you know what it's like when I lie in bed
KATE: If someone were to come...
ROBERTA: If someone were to come up to me and say that they knew how
STEVE: though I'd pray it might be so, the whole night through?
MIKE: and I think of you, and the things you've said?
KATE: and say they knew of love...
ROBERTA: to love you better, I'd say, 'Buddy, step into the ring you're going down.?
STEVE: Do you know what it's like to have to let go of your hand
and to start another life, a life I don't understand
MIKE: Well, there's one word not there, and it comes before love?...
KATE: I'd tell them it's not true...
ROBERTA: I'd fight a guy for you. I'd fight a girl for you.
STEVE: and live the rest of my life knowing how much I've hurt you?
MIKE: Does it matter? Is what we have enough?
KATE: No one can love like you.
ROBERTA: I'd fight myself you know I would if I thought it would do any good.
ALL: Oh, do you know?
K: How to look into your eyes...
STEVE: To let go of your hand...
ROBERTA: To start another life...
MIKE: I just don't understand.
~*~"Do You Know What it's Like?" Zanna, Don't!

I don't really have anything to say... but this picture is awesome! It makes me very very happy. :D

Love to all cause love is good!

Visits To You

Visits to you are suddenly new
Suddenly everything's sacred
I've been here before
Will I be here again
Please tell me you'll never be taken

Is this another time
Or is this the last time
How much more time
When will time take away
My visits to you

Living with this, holding your hand
Knowing I'll have to let go soon
Living right now and right now and right now
Knowing I'll soon be without you

Is this another time
Or is this the last time
How much more time
When will time take away
My visits

And when you go where you're going
Where will you be going
I know I'll keep going
On my visits to you

Is this another time
Or is this the last time
How much more time
When will time take away
My visits

Is this another time
Or is this the last time
How much more time
When will time take away
When will time take away
When will time take away
My visits to you
~*~"Visits to You" Anthony Rapp

In honor of Without You, his book that came out on Tuesday, and is an absolutely amazing piece of literature. I got my copy on Tuesday at 11:30pm, went to bed, and read, and read, and read. When I finished it was 6:30 in the morning. Time for school, no sleep. But it was so worth it.

Last night Molly, Jaime, and I went to his book signing in Oak Park. It was quite an experience...

When we got there, a woman who worked at the store was just starting to go over the rules (because there were a LOT of people there... the small store was packed). Right away we saw Jonathan standing just a little bit in front of us, who soon turned around and waved. After a few minutes of talking, Anthony emerged from wherever he had been hiding in the depths of the store office or something.

He said hi, and introduced what he was going to read (the chapter Glory), and then began... the store was silent as he read, and the air vibrated with the excitement from all of Anthony's fans. I think I was one of the few people there who had already read the book. He read with passion, causing me to tear up right there in the store. When he finished, there was an uproar of clapping, whistling, and yells. In his usual modest manner, he said thank you, and then opened the floor up to questions. People asked away, some questions good, some not so great, some I knew the answers to, and some I had thought of myself.

Then he sang. He sang into the returned silence, Seasons of Love, all by himself. No music, and no 14 voices singing with him. It was unbelievable surreal. I could not truly be hearing an OBC member of RENT singing live, in front of me, 10 years later... but it was true. His voice soared, all alone, through the bookstore. Again when he finished, the same applause and assorted other noise erupted.

Over the next hour and a half, we snaked our way around the store, waiting for our turn for Anthony to sign our books. In the meantime:
1. We met new friends who were standing in line near us, and talked about RENT and Anthony, trading crazy stories.
2. Molly and Jaime went to get us coffee from Starbucks down the street, while I held our place in line. (After being up for 36 hours, I needed some energy...)
3. I created a game, "Judge the Book by its Cover," that is very good to play in bookstores... I would pull a book (one with people on the cover: a photo, drawn, abstract people, whatever...), and we would tell the story of the people based on the title, taking no more than a minute on any one book. This kept us entertained for about an hour. Haha.
4. Listened to Anthony's CD Look Around or to RENT on my iPod

And finally, some time after 10 o' clock, we reach the front of the line, after over 2 1/2 hours of being in the bookstore... One man takes my book, asks my name, and makes sure it will be spelled right, and one man takes my camera. I step up to the table. The man on my right hands Anthony my book and tells him my name. I hand him an envelope. "This is for you." He smiles, and says thank you like he means it. He signs my book, and then I ask if I can do the tango picture. hehe. He teaches me how, and my picture is taken. As he sits back down at the table, I tell him the book is amazing, and thank you so much for writing it. He looks a little surprised I have it read already. I tell him how I stayed up the night before. He says "Did you have school today?" I laugh, and nod. "It was really just that amazing."

Molly and Jaime get their books signed and pictures taken. We talk for a moment so a couple of our new friends, say goodbye, and walk out into the cool night air that feels so good after being in a crowded bookstore for 3 hours. The night seems so alive as we walk back to the car... Wow. Wow and wow and wow.

Now I wait for (hopefully) April 29th... the RENT 10th anniversary concert!

Oh - the posted pic is him answering a question. The pic of me with him has to be developed tomorrow, and then will be posted! Woot!

Love to all cause love is good!

Always

Always

I’m up here on my own again
I’m always on my own
They don’t know anything at all
They see just what they want
Can’t they see I’m not really here
I’m back there with you

Chorus:
Flying away
Wish I could say
You will be there tomorrow
And always
Just have to do
Wish I could know
You will always remember me
Now and always

Turning my face away again
I’m always turned away
Wanting someone to talk it out
Without you always

Chorus 3x
~*~"Always" Anthony Rapp

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JONATHAN LARSON... Another internation RENThead day. Unfortunately I had to spend it doing homework. A lot of homework. Oh well. Lucky me, I still have more to do tomorrow! There's something to look forward to.

Yesterday I got my pictures from Sam's Club... lovely pics from Magi, Christmas, New Year's eve, and winter con. Good stuff. I'm just happy to have my Magi pictures. They make me very happy. Though sad at the same time... But happier than not, I think. lol.

So tomorrow I'm going to a super bowl party at the Bumba's house, like last year... I didn't even realize tomorrow was the super bowl until a couple days ago. As if I care... whatever. I will sit in Emily's room with Molly and Stephanie and do nothing, probably. Take pictures and stuff or something.

SCORE is in full prep for Spree and so now I'm busier than ever even though I'm not working on a show... The homework load is ridiculous, but such is life. Not really too much to talk about I guess.

La Vie Boheme, no day but today!