Why I Hate Teenagers (Warning: Rant may occur)

Say one thing they don't like and suddenly you're their worst enemy.

They are stereotyped (such as I'm doing now, I suppose. sorry)

They all think they're better than you. Or that you're no different from them. Or, more likely, too different from them.

If you're not like all other teenagers, you have to work even harder, not just because you're different, but to bear all the stereotypes people try to place on you. I do not like being "in style" and my eyes must not be "glued to the tv" whenever there's a hot guy on.

Being different, caring about different things, it's too hard to relate to teenagers. I think about different things I talk a different way. I don't want the same kind of relationship with a guy or girl that they all want.

Their crap is taking over my tv. what happened to quality?

They always say they want to talk to you, but then they never actually do unless they have something they want to complain about. But there's nothing there if you want to talk about anything.

Q: Can I please talk about something serious without it turning into a sex joke?
A: No.

Q: why do i know what i want to do with my future and yet seem stuck here with no direction?
A:... something to do with teenagerdom.

Teenagers could take a course in "nothing is so funny it needs to be shoulted in the halls"

I am stuck taking classes I don't want to take so I can go to college. Unfortunately, so are other people, who don't have the same college plans i do. Let the "shut the fuck up" fest inside my head begin

There is no way for me to explain to teenagers how I feel about anything. I relate to people who are about 10 years older than me at least. I love them all, but it's hard to hang out with them a lot. They have lives. The kind of life I want to have where things get done that matter.

Ignorance is a teenager's best friend. And my worst enemy.

You are not invincible. And we can hear you at about 50 decibles lower than the voice you speak at.

One word: fickle.
GET OVER IT. MOVE ON.

They always try to make you feel like you're not good enough. Are you?

If I'm Dreaming my Life

Was she never there/here?
Was she ever?
Was it air she breathed?

At the wrong time
Oh-oh
Oh-oh

All the flowers so
From the gallery
With the hymns of night
Singing "Come to Me"

CHORUS
At the wrong time
On the wrong day
All the lights are fading now
If I'm dreaming all my life (x2 second time)

Just one living chance
When the mother sighs
When the father steps aside
At the wrong time
Oh-oh

VERSE (here)

CHORUS
Was she ever?
Was she ever here?
If I'm dreaming all my life
If I'm dreaming all my life away

Dreaming my life
Dreaming my
Dreaming my
Dreaming my
Dreaming my life
Dreaming my life away
Oh-oh

REPEAT
Dreaming my life
Dreaming my
Dreaming my life away
Oh-oh
~*~"If I'm Dreaming my Life" David Bowie

So I'm in the hotel in Souix City Iowa on my way back home. This new computer is pretty awesome. Not too much to say, just checking in. I'm not sure how our internet will be working when we get home, so I gotta get on now while I can. Today was nothing but a long day in the car. Tomorrow shall be the same. It's often good writing ispiration though.

Just in case you missed it, I posted some new poems and stuff. Click Wicked Little Town in my links. Lemme know what you think. All for now.

Love to all cause love is good!

The Gifts of the Magi

And though I will not swear a vow
That all I tell is true
I swear it all could happen now
To you

I can stop a clock
Make the sun appear
Fill a city block
Freeze a single tear

Are we fact arew we myth
We will answer you with
Just one
Look and you will see
Hope is all aglow
Dreams of what can be
Settle like the snow
You're about to know
Of the gifts of the magi.
~*~"Gifts of the Magi"

In honor of a cute show and an amazingly talented and loving cast... Gifts of the Magi is the show I was working on this past month or so. It's hard to believe I met those 6 people (well, I already knew some of them) all of 6 weeks ago. I feel so close to them now. I miss them all a lot.

So for those of you who don't know, I'm in South Dakota visiting my grandparents for the holidays. I will, however, be leaving tomorrow so as to be home in time for New Year's Eve partying. *no promises of innocence*

Got my new apple powerbook last week, it is amazing and a great releif. That old computer (almost 6 years guys, depressing) was driving me insane. It couldn't do anything. Even the connection to the printer was screwed up. Ugh. But the new one is fabulous. It's nice to actually be able to use iTunes now. My iPod became my best friend on this trip.

Very glad to be on break, finally. Finals went ok. I set the curve for my chemistry and ap bio finals, of all things, and as far as I can tell, should be keeping my straigt A record. I really didn't think I was going to pull it off this semester. But now, nothing to worry about for 2 1/2 weeks. Except the bio homework and history project and english assignment. Whatever. They're all half done. Car time is an amazing thing... All 1000 miles of it on the way here, and starting tomorrow 1000 miles back. I've started writing and interesting bit of philosophy of my own; I'm not sure how much sense it makes, but whatever. Feels good. Inspired by the journal Scott gave me, so thanks for that.

This may or may not be my last post for 2005. I hope to at least post on New Year's Eve, but we'll see what condition I'm in. I'm psyched for some fun. lol. Ok well much much love to all. Hope you had a great year! BTW/FYI I posted some new poems and stuff... click the Wicked Little Town link to check it out.

Love to all cause love is good!

Turnin Time Around

She says, what do you call love
well I call it Harry
Oh, please I'm being serious
what do you call love
Well I don't call it family and I don't call it lust
and as we all know marriage isn't a must
And I suppose in the end, it's a matter of trust
if I had to I'd call love time
She says, what do you call love
can't you be more specific
What do you call love
is it more than the heart's hieroglyphic
Well for me time has no meaning, no future, no past
and when you're in love, you don't have to ask
There's never enough time to hold love in your grasp
turning time around
Turning time around
that is what love is
Turning time around
yes, that is what love is
My time is your time when you're in love
and time is what you never have enough of
You can't see or hold it, it's exactly like love
Turning time around
turning time around
Turning time around
turning time around
Turning time around
well I gotta have it
I gotta-gotta-gotta have it
Turning, turning time around
gotta have it, turning time around
Turning, turning time around
turning time around
~*~"Turning Time Around" Lou Reed

So... it's late. Or early. I don't know. I've been up a very long time. My mom, grandma, and I were at Khol's at 4:55 this morning, waiting for the doors to open. We shopped for about 5 hours. Lots of fun, and I got lots of stuff, but I am very tired. I don't know why I'm still up. My parents are out at Matt's gig (they all went in a limo with freinds and stuff...). My brother is sleeping. I've been online way too long.

RENT was absolutely amazing. Anthony Rapp is the coolest ever. He's very chill and interestinff and friendly. (Not to mention adorable.) Jaime and Molly and I had tons of fun, along with a couple new people we met, Jonathan and Jess, and her twin Jen. They go on the same Rent site I do, so it's good fun. We all live in the same general area, and we're going to go see the show together when it comes in April.

Not too much else to write about. I have to get some sleep... lots of homework left to do over the weekend, and I have work tomorrow and stuff. Ah, so much to do, as always. More later.

Love to all cause love is good!

Tear Me Down

I was born on the other side
Of a town ripped in two
I made it over the great divide
Now I'm coming for you

Enemies and adversaries
They try and tear me down
You want me baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down

I rose from off of the doctor's slab
Like Lazarus from the pit
Now everyone wants to take a stab
And decorate me
With blood, graffiti and spit

Enemies and adversaries
They try to tear me down
You want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down

On August 13, 1961,
A wall was erected
Down the middle of the city of Berlin
The world was divided by a cold war
And the Berlin Wall
Was the most hated symbol of that divide
Reviled, graffitied, spit upon
We thought the wall would stand forever
And now that it's gone
We don't know who we are anymore
Ladies and gentlemen
Hedwig is like that wall
Standing before you in the divide
Between East and West
Slavery and freedom
Man and woman
Top and bottom
And you can try and tear her down
But before you do
You must remember one thing--

There ain't much of a difference
Between a bridge and a wall
Without me right in the middle, babe
You would be nothing at all

Enemies and adversaries
They try and tear me down
You want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down
~*~"Tear Me Down" Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Ahh, John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask are geniuses.

Not a whole lot new since the other day... Had a dentist appointment today, found out I had my first cavity ever (damn braces). Novicane and a filling... weird stuff. No more of that, thank you. Ended up meaining no eating for 4 hours, for a total of no eating for 8 hours.

Braces coming off on Monday!!! HOORAY!!! OMG so exciting.

Going to see Rent in like... 4 days. Holy shit. It will be so fucking amazing. ahhh! Anthony Rapp is so awesome. He was in Hedwig too... Man, he can't get much better than that.

But anywho. It's time to go to bed... history test tomorrow. Enjoy my new fabulous blog... all Hediwg-and-Rentified! LOL. Plastic bedsheets... it's a tablecloth for your bed!

Love to all cause love is good!

Wicked Little Town

You know, the sun is in your eyes
And hurricanes and rains
and black and cloudy skies.

You're running up and down that hill.
You turn it on and off at will.
There's nothing here to thrill
or bring you down.
And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise
of this wicked little town.

Oh Lady, luck has led you here
and they're so twisted up
they'll twist you up. I fear.

the pious, hateful and devout,
you're turning tricks til you're turned out,
the wind so cold it burns,
you're burning out and blowing round.
And if you've got no other choice
you know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise
of this wicked little town.

The fates are vicious and they're cruel.
You learn too late you've used two wishes
like a fool

and then you're someone you are not,
and Junction City ain't the spot,
remember Mrs. Lot
and when she turned around.
And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise
of this wicked little town.
~*~"Wicked Little Town" Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Hey guys! It's my half birthday today! And what a day it has been! But we'll get back to the school day interesting stuff later. Right now I have the most interesting thing to talk about!

Jaime and Molly and I are going to see Anthony Rapp at a RENT screening on November 19th. HOLY FUCK. Like, just yesterday Jaime and I found out about this thing in New York.. a screening of Hedwig, and John Cameron Mitchell was going to be there. So last night we were like... shit we gotta pray our asses off tonight, to whatever gods it takes. And so we did. And no, we are not going to see JCM right now. But instead we were sent this... Anthony Rapp (who was in Hedwig and one point, holy shit), and RENT, which we haven't seen yet. OMG we are so fucking excited. Dude it's going to be amazing. Seriously you people have no IDEA how excited I am right now.

Okay on to other exciting things of today. For now that I think about it, it has been quite the day. Went on a Spanish field trip. Bus ride. Bio homework with Josh. On bus for long time. Toured Pilsen neighborhood. Cold weather. Amazing murals. Mexican Fine Arts Museum. Toured exhibits. Cool ofrendas. Amazing work called Death Trinity. Chipotle. Ate food. Really good burrito bol. Really squished booth of 6 people. Bus home. More bio homework with Josh. On bus for even longer time.

Drama class. Antigone. Twice. Know lines *yay*. No stupid improv *yay*. Library. Renewed Hedwig. Got Tarnation. Back to theatre. Dinner with Liz. Turn on theatre lights. Place props. Turn of backstage light. In office. Alan Ball at show *yay yay yay*. Go visit in theatre. Set up for intermission. Look at pictures on google. Dead actors Etel thinks are hot. Old boyfriends now famous. Liz sick. Leaves. Talk to Alan at intermission. Love him. Smile. Intermission over. Hugs and kisses w/ Alan. Put away pop and candy. Leave theatre. Think how depressing it is man over 40 makes me so happy. More depressing I spend so much time with 70 something lady. Home. Still here. Have not magically flown to hip New York theatre scene.

Online. Brother and friend playing videogames. IM. Jaime and Molly. Interlochen site. Rent tickets. Ryan Rudolph. Song I can't download. Blog. Emptiness. Hollow despite blog of wonderfulness. Still 15. And a half. Still in love. With worlds that don't love back.

Love to all cause love is good!

Origin of Love

When the earth was still flat,
And the clouds made of fire,
And mountains stretched up to the sky,
Sometimes higher,
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs.
They had two sets of arms.
They had two sets of legs.
They had two faces peering
Out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read.
And they never knew nothing of love.
It was before the origin of love.
The origin of love

And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back,
Called the children of the sun.
And similar in shape and girth
Were the children of the earth.
They looked like two girls
Rolled up in one.
And the children of the moon
Looked like a fork shoved on a spoon.
They was part sun, part earth,
Part daughter, part son.
The origin of love.

Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said,
"I'm gonna kill them all
With my hammer,
Like I killed the giants."
But the Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightning, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards.
"Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."
And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire

And then fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades
Of a knife.
And it ripped
Right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon
And the earth.
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane,
To scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain,
And a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away,
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
And we'll be hopping around on one foot
And looking through one eye.

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You was looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart,
We called it love.
So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Trying to shove ourselves back together.
We was making love,
Making love.
It was a cold dark evening,
Such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was the sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of
The origin of love.
That's the origin of love.
~*~"Origin of Love" Hedwig and the Angry Inch

OMG that song is so amazing. And I love love love that movie. I recommend it to anyone who isn't freaked out by really off-the-wall stuff. Think along the lines of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Hey guys... Look I'm actually posting! Somehow I ended up with little time and had something to say...

What prompted me to post is I wanted to let you all know that I have 2 poems ready to go on my other blog, so watch for those, hopefully in the next few days.

So homecoming was okay. More music I'd never heard before, and it's not as impressive seeing everything when you spent a million hours decorating and planning and stuff. But I'm still glad I'm on SCORE and I'm glad I went. It was fun to see Carly.

I've been keeping busy with dance monday and tuesday, then "Picnic" wednesdays through sundays. But it closed last weekend, so I have a bit of time now. For another week. lol. I love keeping busy though.

Anywho. Not much else for now. As always, I'll write again when I can... and have something to say. In the meantime, watch for poems... I post those almosy immediately after I write them.

Love to all cause love is good!

No Such Thing

"welcome to the real world"
she said to me condescendingly
"take a seat, take your life
plot it out in black and white"

well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
and the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
is still hiding up my sleeve

they love to tell you "stay inside the lines"
but something's better on the other side

I want to run through the halls of my high school
I want to scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
just a lie you've got to rise above

so the good boys and girls take the so-called right track
faded white hats grabbing credits, maybe transfers
they read all the books but they can't find the answers
all of our parents, they're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
while in their memories, tiny tragedies

they love to tell you "stay inside the lines"
but something's better on the other side

I want to run through the halls of my high school
I want to scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
just a lie you've got to rise above

I am invincible
I am invincible
I am invincible
as long as I'm alive

I want to run through the halls of my high school
I want to scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait for my ten year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
and when I stand on these tables before you
you will know what all this time was for
~*~"No Such Thing" John Mayer

I love John Mayer! He's so great. I listened to him a lot on our trip this weekend, while I was reading the Iliad. I had so much homework this weekend!

Went to my first wedding since I was a year old. It was pretty cool, though after hearing some of the stuff the priest read, I'm even gladder I'm not Christian. Stuff about a wife serving her husband and shit. whatever.

We have early dismissal tomorrow... YAY! It's about time. School is so crazy... tons of work all the time. I need a break. A con would be nice, but the next one isn't until the middle of November. :( Sadness.

For those of you who don't know, I've been posting poems, which are kind of about what's going on in my life right now. I don't have much time to really write a lot, so I just post poems when I can.

Really that's all I've got for now. Watch for another post maybe this weekend or something.

Love to all cause love is good!

X & Y

Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
So part of the plan
When something is broken
And you try to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way you can
I'm diving off the deep end
You've become my best friend
I wanna love you
But I don't know if I can
~*~"X&Y" Coldplay

Coldplay is awesome. Anywho. Um... so it's been what, a week and a half since I posted. All that's really been going on is a shitload of homework... ARGH.

Um, yeah. Let's see... Friday I went and hung out at Jaime's house... We watched the last episode of this season's Degrassi and watched A Chorus Line and did dorky Rent things (cause Rent is awesome as hell!!!).

Saturday I went to Veggie Fest which was lots of fun. I had lots of yummy food and we got recipies so I can actually eat food at my house. That's a good thing.

Sunday I went biking in the afternoon and then in the evening I went with my dad and my brother to see the Body Worlds exhibit at MSI. It's very interesting, albeit creepy. Science happens to be that way often.

So then school started this week and I had more homework. Nothing interesting. Just lots and lots of homework. Tuesday was GSA and Michael is Vice! Yay Michael! Damn you Taylor and your superior secretary skills... thespians and GSA! Oh well. Michael and I are writing a letter on behalf of the GSA to the board cause they won't give us money to be an official club cause we have "gay" in our name. THEY SUCK! No. They're just ignorant (which sucks) but I'm not a hateful person.

This weekend I'm going away to South Dakota (aka the land of the old and boring) to go to my mom's cousin's wedding. It should be interesting. Maybe. Well it will be my first wedding since I was about a year old, so that's something. Though I doubt I'll have any internet access for like 4 days, which really does suck.

Okay well, as always, I have homework to do, so I'm off... Comment, if not on this, then on my poetry blog. http://breakthesylence.blogspot.com YAY.

Love to all cause love is good!

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
~*~"Fix You" Coldplay

Not in a good mood. I don't really know why. Just tired probably. School has started again and all the sudden I have tons of homework... It's icky. My classes are ok, I have good teachers. It's just that I'm ridiculous and decided to take really hard classes so I have lots of homework. It has been good seeing everyone again though.

I had an awesome time in New York and New Jersey... Saw Avenue Q (so fuckin funny... omg) and went to NYU (if I don't get in, there's gonna be hell to pay... that is the coolest school EVER and I'm doing all the right things to be accepted). Anywho. Had a great time with Leslie; we saw Charlie twice while I was there, and went swimming and watched movies and talked... good stuff. Then I spent a couple days in NJ, pretty much funning around after a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old or watching Raffi/Barney/Thomas the Tank Engine/The Wiggles (EXTREMELY strange show... 4 Australian guys in brightly colored spandex... yeah.), but they're adorable so it's ok.

Spent this weekend doing all kinds of fun things... Friday night I went to see Love, Sex, and the IRS (Frank's show) with Jaime, and then she spent the night. We kicked her out because the Messersmiths were coming over at 2. They were over a long time, then my family went to see Anne of Green Gables: The Musical. I knew about half the cast in that one, including Cara. Cara's cast in Gifst of the Magi... I'll be working with her in November/December! YAY! Anywho. Sunday I went with Heather to an AYC meeting, then came back to go over to Jaime's house for a BBQ... Lots of fun.

Anywho. I better go, cause tons of people are IMing me and I'm not talking to them... More when I find the time!!!

Love to all cause love is good!

Quiz Fun!

I've gotten addicted to quizzes now... They're very entertaining. So I took this one about evaluating your dvd collection and it was the funniest thing. Seriously I did not make it up!

Oh, you arty, independent thing.
Your DVD collection is a true "collection" – you've searched far and wide to find some of this stuff. Some people sing along with the radio when they're stuck in traffic, but you prefer to spend that time holding a fake conversation with the dude on your "learn Japanese" CD. You're planning to hang out with the locals on your future travels. Or maybe even on trips you've already made, like one of those movies where life happens in the wrong order. One request: if you invent a time travel machine to make life more like an indie film, please let us borrow it for just one hour. We're dying to go back in time and make out with a young Johnny Depp.

7% of the people who tooks this quiz got the same evaluation.

Crazy, right? Yeah. I know. Anyway, I'm off to take more quizzes before we go out for dinner. Tonight there's a new Degrassi! I gotta enjoy it while I can... We don't have Noggin back home. :( (or bravo or logo or movie channels)

Love to all cause love is good!

Remedy (I Won't Worry)

I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes
I cannot make them go away
Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring
now something on the surface it stings that something on the surface
it kind of makes me nervous
who says that you deserve this
and what kind of god would serve this?
We will cure this dirty old disease if you've got the poison
I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience.
It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious.
Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.

I heard two men talking on the radio
in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
they were counting down the days to stab the brother
in the be right back after this the unavoidable kiss,
where the minty fresh death
breath is sure to outlast his catastrophe
dance with me, because if you've got the poison,
I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious.
Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when
I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine
and I'll tell you why

Because the remedy is the experience.
It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious.
Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't and I won't and I won't
***"Remedy (I Won't Worry)" Jason Mraz

Hey guys. Haven't written lately cause I've been busy in NY. I got in on Saturday and Leslie and I saw Charlie on imax, got home and watched Arizona Dream and the tape my dad made of "Fiddler highlights" or something.

Sunday we watched Ed Wood and Blow, and talked and Leslie made yummy food for dinner. None of this is all too exciting for you guys I know. But I'm having fun. Monday was really cool cause we went into the city to see Avenue Q and we ate dinner at a really nice Italian place on 45th street. Avenue Q was really funny, even funnier than the soundtrack. I had a really good time and got to meet the actors afterwards and get autographs and stuff. I love Broadway for that - they all come out to sign autographs and take pictures and stuff.

Anyway. Tuesday was a relaxing day at home... went swimming, watched more movies, etc. Wednesday we took the bus into the city and then took the subway to the village. We went to an information session about and then took a tour of NYU. It was really cool. That's where I want to go for sure. I'd basically be going to school in NYC. As far as I'm concerned it couldn't get any better.

So yesterday Leslie drove me to New Jersey, where I'm staying with my pseudo-family. It's my dad's old college friend and his family, so they're like my aunt, uncle, and cousins (ages 2 and 5). So it's been fun. I'll be home tomorrow, and hopefully go see The Fantasticks again.

Sunday and Monday I have to finish my bio project, cause school starts Tuesday! Ugh. Monday I get to go to ITC though and see Frank and Mike Padden. Yay! lol. Anywho. I don't think I have much else to write about now. This seems lioke a long enough post anyway.

Love to all cause love is good!

As Long As You're Mine

Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreaming
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me

Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some borderline
And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine...

Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's "up" that I fell

Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time
Say there's no future
For us as a pair
And though I may know
I don't care

Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine
~*~"As Long As You're Mine" Wicked

I saw Wicked again last night... It was awesome! Jaime and I went... My mom's name got pulled from the lottery but she couldn't go because she had a class. It was really cool. Jaime and I went to Borders to eat and then walked in the city a bit before the show. It was so much fun.

Today I went to see The Fantasticks. Mike T. told me not to come; he said it wasn't that good, but it was really funny. Mike Padden did a really great job. He's got such an amazing voice. Mike T. was so hilarious, even though his part was really small. It was good to see them again. I miss them all already... I'll get to see Mike Padden at auditions on the 15th. That's cool.

Oh look it's Friday now... Happy birthday Alice!

I leave tomorrow for New York! Woot! I'm so excited... {Random quote: "That's my place in the universe - I'm the system's bitch." I heard it on TV just now.} Ok well I don't have much else to write right now. Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight. Hah.

Love to all cause love is good!

Dreams

World turns black and white
Pictures in an empty room
Your love starts fallin down
Better change your tune
Reach for the golden ring
Reach for the sky
Baby just spread your wings
Chorus:
We'll get higher and higher straight up we'll climb
We'll get higher and higher leave it all behind
Run, run, run, away
Like a train runnin off the track
The truth gets left behind
And falls between the cracks
Standing on broken dreams
But never losing sight
Spread your wings
Chorus
So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you've cried
Ohh that's what dreams are made of
Oh baby we belong in a world that must be strong
Ohh that's what dreams are made of
Solo Chorus
Higher and higher who knows what we'll find
And in the end on dreams we will depend
Cause thats what love is made of
~*~"Dreams" Van Halen

Just sittin here watching Best Week Ever. Haha. They're making fun of the weather people talking about the heat all the time. I love Best Week Ever. They're so fuckin funny.

So today was pretty boring. I slept in today! That was exciting. But other than that, I spent the day at home playing games with my family because my grandma is leaving tomorrow.

Damn. This show is funny even when you didn't see the thing they're talking about. They just make things sound stupid no matter what. Ha.

Wow. I really have nothing to talk about. I miss the cast already. And it was weird not to be at the theatre today. I'll be back on Wednesday though, to help out with callbacks, and then again on the 15th for Gifts of the Magi auditions. Frank will be there... I'll get to see him again! yay!

Love to all cause love is good!

August

I've posted more stuff on my other blog. Read it, damn you!
By the way happy August everybody. I start school in like 15 days. Fuck.

Love to all cause love is good!

Tradition

Tradition tradition tradition
Tradition tradition tradition

Who day and night must scramble for a living
Feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers
And who has the right, as master of the house
To have the final word at home

The papa, the papa tradition
The papa, the papa tradition

Who must know the way to make a proper home
A quiet home, a kosher home
Who must raise a family and run the home
So papa's free to read the holy book

The mama, the mama tradition
The mama, the mama tradition

At three I started Hebrew school
At ten I learned a trade
I hear they picked a bride for me
I hope she's pretty

The sons, the sons traditon
The sons, the sons tradition

And who does mama teach
To mend and tend and fix
Preparing me to marry
Whoever papa picks

The daughters, the daughters tradition
The daughters, the daughters tradition
~*~"Tradition" Fiddler on the Roof

The tradition is over. I will not be at the theatre every day anymore. I will not see some of the coolest people ever all the time. There will be no more rides in Mike's car, or back rubs, or going out to eat, or teasing Frank, or anything. Fiddler is over. I am so sad right now. Plus Mitch was being an asshole earlier so whatever. I don't want to talk about it.

We had really good shows today I think. Especially tonight. But it was so sad, knowing I wouldn't be doing it again. I hate it when shows end. I'm very bad at saying goodbye, or leaving, or whatever. I've never been any good at it.

Emilie had a good birthday though, I think. We were at the theatre all day... in between shows and for a couple hours after. I personally spent 12 hours there today. Crazy, but fun. I know everyone is really tired. I of course, can not sleep to save my life right now.

I'm talking to Ryan. I saw him out skating tonight when we were dropping Jaime off. Sounds like he had his own adventure involving a gas can. lol. But anyway. That was random.

Much love to all the cast, whom I will miss very very much. Thanks to everybody for all you guys did for me... muah! And thanks to everyone who came for supporting me... I love having people see my shows! Yay for flowers!

I don't think I really have much of anything to write about. Seriously I'm just sad and don't know what to say. So goodnight.

Love to all cause love is good!

This Night

Didn’t I say
I wasn’t ready for a romance
Didn’t we promise
We would only be friends
And so we danced
Though it was only a slow dance
I started breaking my promises
Right there and then
Didn’t I swear
There would be no complications
Didn’t you want
Someone who’s seen it all before
Now that you’re here
It’s not the same situation
Suddenly I don’t remember the rules anymore
This night is mine
It’s only you and i
Tomorrow
Is a long time away
This night can last forever
I’ve been around
Someone like me should know better
Falling in love
Would be the worst thing I could do
Didn’t I sayI needed time to forget her
Aren’t you running from someone
Who’s not over you
How many nights
Have I been lonely without you
I tell myself
How much I really don’t care
How many nights
Have I been thinking about you
Wanting to hold you
But knowing you would not be there
This night
You’re mine
It’s only you and i
I’ll tell you
To forget yesterday
This night we are together
This night
Is mine
It’s only you and i
Tomorrow
Is such a long time away
This night can last forever
TomorrowIs such a long time away
This night can last forever
~*~"This Night" Billy Joel, Movin' Out

I love that song... It's the ringtone on my *ish* phone but like it got attacked by music box/icecream truck version of it. It's pretty cool.

So the party tonight was much fun! There were a lot of people. Mike, Mike, Madalyn, Olivia, Stephanie, Andy, Frank, Jaime, Mitch, Amanda, Rachael, and Malcolm were all over. And we were all hanging out in the basement just talking. It was a good thing we had floor pillows. lol.

Unfortunately, Emilie and Tina had to go to a friend's birthday party instead. Mike Tepeli left early to go as well. Eventually the last people left were Mike Padden, Jaime, and Malcolm, and we watched Moulin Rouge until they all left around 1:15 ish. We all had a good time though I think.

The show went well tonight. I'm gonna be so sad when it's over. I'll miss so many of these people... I missed them in between shows last week! What am I gonna do not seeing them at all? I will be very very sad. Emilie's bringing us food between shows tomorrow, and then we have our cast party after the second show, and then it will be all over. I won't be surprised if I cry. I think I'll have to bring another camera tomorrow. The one I've got is just about empty. I like taking pictures. lol.

Ok I'm really sad now. I just put myself in a really shitty mood. I'm gonna go I think and do... I dunno what. But I really don't have anything else to write about anyway. So. Yeah. Happy birthday Frank and Emilie! (and Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling. ;) lol.)

Love to all cause love is good!

Emilie's Profile

He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh and I don't knowI don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

Stole that out of Emilie's profile cause it's really fuckin cool. I don't know what's up... I been home for a whle now, but she's still away. I dunno if she went to bed or what. But like no one else is on so I'm really bored as hell.

I guess it's Frank's birthday now, so happy birthday Frank! lol. I got him a birthday card that I'll give to him at the show tomorrow *tonight*. And I have a card for Emilie that she'll get Sunday. Yay for giving! lol.

So tonight after the show a bunch of people went out to Tattler's, so the rest of us went to Denny's. Us being me, Emilie, Mike, Stephanie, Andrew, Reid, and Tina. It was fun though. Having a smaller group was kind of nice. We got to actually talk. It was a little weird for me though, because I was the only person there who doesn't go to Lincolnway or live out there or whatever. But it was fun.

I went to see I Love Dogs with my family. The movie was ok. My favorite part was the RENT trailer before it started. I practically fell our of my seat and my mom spend the next 10 minutes making fun of me. But whatever. That is gonna be such a fuckin awesome movie. I can't wait. Ahhh! Mifnight showing for sure.

Not much else to report for now I guess. More tomorrow night, most likely. I dunno how tired I'll be after I have a bunch of people over! woot!

Love to all cause love is good!

Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You

Gaze into her killing jar
I'd sometimes stare for hours
She even poked the holes so I can breathe
She bought the last line
I'm just the worst kind
Of guy to argue
With what you might find
And for the last night I lie
Could I lie with you?
Alright, give up, get down
It’s just the hardest part of living
Alright, she wants
It all has to come down this time
Lost in the prescription she's got something else in mind.
Check into the Hotel Bella Muerte.
It gives the weak flight.
It gives the blind sight,
Until the cops come,
Or by the last light.
And for the last night I lie.
Could I lie next to you?
Alright, give up. Get down.
It’s just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants. It all has to come down this time.
Alright, give up. Get down.
It’s just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants. It all has to come down this time.
Pull the plug.
But I'd like to learn your name.
And holding on,
Well I hope you do the same.
Awww, sugar.
Slip into the tragedy you've spun this chamber dry.
Alright, give up. Get down.
It’s just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants. It all has to come down this time.
Alright, give up. Get down.
It’s just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants. It all has to come down this time.
Pull the plug.
But I'd like to learn your name.
And holding on,
Well I hope you do the same.
Awww, sugar.
~*~ "Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You"

People have said something like that to me before... "Don't be too busy! You're gonna tire yourself out!" (from my granparents) "Are you ever gonna stop? You're gonna die young." Thanks guys. (Friends!)

Anywho. So I finally have another show tomorrow! Been waiting all week... Emilie and me both. lol. The review came out today and it was really awesome. I was sad though cause she didn't talk about Mike and Emilie! Rip off... But it was a good review.

So I'm still not sleeping like a normal person... but whatever. I don't mind. I'll catch up sometime before school starts. Maybe. That's in like 3 weeks! Ugh.

I found out Alan is in a show downtown... I'm totally gonna go see him next week! Ahh! And then hopefully The Fantasticks on Thursday, then a day off before I leave for New York. When I get back I'll see Anne of Green Gables and hopefully Frank's show. So plenty of theatre. Yay! That's the best!

Ok well not too much to write now. There will be more tomorrow night, I'm sure, after the show. Who know's where we'll go? Hey I rhymed! Wow I'm tired.

Love to all cause love is good!

Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.
~*~"Here Without You" 3 Doors Down

I picked that one cause it's on my ipod 3 times. Molly's computer and my ipod don't agree, so it made a playlist for me and everything's a little messed up. But I have music now, so I'm not complaining.

It has been a very weird day. I wasn't at the theatre at all. That hasn't happened in like 2 weeks or something. Imagine what it will be like after Sunday... Project SAM will be over and the show will be over. I won't be back at the theatre until I have class in September. That's WEIRD.

I'm hungry. Well that's not surprising. Normally I would be eating dinner now. Man I'm fucked. Whatever. I can go eat something now if I want to. I'm not going to bed. I'll do some yoga and then eat. Oooh that sounds good.

I miss the Fiddler cast... they're so much fun. Nothing is going on here. People don't realize I'm available so they don't call so I have nothing to do. I went to the pool today, but no one was there. I ended up falling asleep listening to music and so now I have a really bad sunburn. I never tan... I'm white as hell and then i fucking burn. Ah, the joys of life.

Oh so I have 2 more quotes from my book! Yay! Ok so numer uno - "People who believe they are strong willed and the masters of their destiny can only continue to believe this by becoming specialists in self-deception." Fascinating, isn't it. Quite true, in my opinion. At least to some extent. Ok now I'm not making any sense. Whatever. Numero dos - "I don't believe this nonsense about time. Time is just common, it's like water for a fish. Everybody's in this water, nobody gets out of it, or if he does the same thing happens to him that happens to the fish, he dies. And you know what happens in this water, time? The big fish eat the little fish. That's all. The big fish eat the little fish and the ocean doesn't care." Both of those are from Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin. Good stuff, really.

I'm not sure I have much else to say at this point. I think I'm gonna do some yoga and some food. I wish Mike Padden could give me a massage right now my back aches like a bitch. Well maybe yoga will help.

Love to all cause love is good!

Untitled

How interesting that I titled it that. Intentionally. Anywho. So I made my poetry blog. It's called Driven By Silence. Here's the link... put it in your favorites, visit all the time, and for the love of pete - no, the love of Johnny - please comment. That's why I wanted to create that blog - so people will tell me what they think of my work. So go, enjoy, and tell me what you think!

Love to all cause love is good!

The Sun

After school
Walking home
Fresh dirt under my fingernails
And I can smell hot asphalt
Cars screech to a halt to let me pass A
nd I cannot remember
What life was like through photographs
Trying to recreate images life gives us from our past

And sometimes it's a sad song

But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

Moving on down the street
I see people I won't ever meet
Think of her, take a breath
Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps

And sometimes it's a sad song

But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

The rhythm of her conversation
The perfection of her creation
The sex she slipped into my coffee
The way she felt when she first saw me
Hate to love and love to hate her
Like a broken record player
Back and forth and here and gone
And on and on and on and on
~*~"The Sun" Maroon 5

Can't sleep. Don't have anywhere to be tonight (for once), but I can't sleep. I'm used to being awake at this time. Actually, I haven't even been home at this time of night for a week now. I won't go to bed for a few hours, at least.

So after dinner tonight I went out for a while by myself. Went over to the the library to pick up a few books. I got the Fantasticks and Bye Bye Birdie soundtracks too. Then I stopped off at Walgreens and got Arizona green tea (one of my fave. non-alcoholic drinks ever!), some orbit gum, and eclipse mints cause those are the best. {I know this is all just so fascinating to all of you readers out there. ;) hah.} On my way back home I met Karli and Lauryn, who I hadn't seen in ages, so we talked for like half an hour, even though it was really fucking humid and I really wanted to go take a shower. It wasn't hot today, but it was really humid. My hair got all curly and frizzy and gross. I bet Emilie's hair stayed nice and pretty and straight though. She's so lucky!

So I've been messing with my computer trying to get my new ipod mini to work, but apparently my computer's software is too old. So I can't transfer any music right now. Should be going over to Molly's later to take hers instead. Half her stuff is from me anyway - either I got her interested in it, or I bought her the cd or whatever. Anywho.

Oh my god! Tons of pop-ups! Ahhh! lol. Seriously though, I'm getting one every 2 seconds. It's crazy. And making this take a long time. Granted, I don't have much specifically to write about. But I feel like writing nonetheless.

I'm thinking of starting another blog for my poetry stuff. I think that would be cool. I do actually have a website for it all, but I'm so far behind in updating that. My computer was being crap and I couldn't use rich text editor, and since I don't know HTML, I couldn't edit/create new pages. So maybe I'll go work on that and then come back here with an update of a link or something.

Real quick I want to share a quote - "But people can't, unhappily, invent their mooring post, their lovers and their friends, anymore than they can invent their parents. Life gives these and also takes them awa and the great difficulty is to say Yes to life. " - Giovanni's Room, James Baldwin. I find that quite an interesting statement. Drop me a comment to let me know what you think.

Love to all cause love is good!

Yellow

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.

I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."

So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."

Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.

I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.

Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."

Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.

It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do
~*~"Yellow" Coldplay

Didn't get around to posting last night *this morning* cause even though I went online when I got home, I was downloading an update and so my computer was too slow to let me post. BTW if I actually made those lyrics yellow you wouldn't be able to read them.

Had a good time last night. Hung out at Mike Padden's until about 1:30. Mike T. drove me there and home of course. We just sat around talking for a long time. Even though we got out earlier because the play was at 7:30, we stayed longer than usual. It was fun. I got to spend a couple hours playing with Mike T.'s hair. He has nice hair for running your fingers through. lol.

In between shows we went to Fuddruckers, which was cool, but most of the people who went ate too much food and it made for an interesting performing experience. To the other actors and actresses out there who read this, I'll tell you based on others' experiences - don't eat a lot before a show. Especially not those burgers that everyone had. It's not a good idea. ;)

Had 2 good shows yesterday. I'm sorry the first weekend is over already. I'm gonna miss seeing these people all the time. Like already it's wierd that I'm not seeing them for 5 days or whatever. I can't imagine what it will be like after the show is over. This certainly isn't the role I want to play forever, because I hate looking so young and having so few lines, but I do hope a summerfest next year all my fave. people will be back and I'll have a bigger part. That would be awesome. I really hope Mike, Emilie, Tina, Reid, and Mike come back. They're all a lot of fun. But we'll see, I guess. We'll see.

Hopefully I'll be going to see The Fantastiks the first week in August before I leave for New York. Mike and Mike are in it and I want to go see them! I know I'm going to Anne of Green Gables on the 19th. I'll get to see Cara in that, which will be fun. (She plays Hodel in our production, for those who don't know.) Then hopefully later in the month I can go up and see Frank in his show in Woodale, "Love, Sex, and the IRS." I was helping him run lines yesterday and the show seems really funny. I love Frank. He's so fucking hilarious.

Look at this. I go from no posts at all to posting almost every day, and these are long posts too. Hmh. Just feeling talkative I guess. But it's all good.

I went to bed around 4 last night *this morning* and had to get up at 8 for Project SAM. This is the last week! Thank goodness. I don't know how much more of those kids I can take. So I took a nap this afternoon for about 2 1/2 hours. That was nice. I haven't taken a nap in a long time.

I can't wait for the show this weekend. I had so much fun I just want to do it again. We're a partying kind of people and we go out every night. It's awesome. Sunday night will be sad. So we won't think about that for now. Saturday night will be fun... people are coming over here to hang out. And I won't be kicking them out at any time of night. ;)

Ok well it's about time for me to go eat. Maybe more late tonight. We'll see how tired I am and what I'm up to. I don't know what my plans are. Give me a call if you wanna hang out - cell 306-8992

Love to all cause love is good!

Midnight Show

We were just in time
Let me take a little more off your mind
There's something in my hair
Somewhere in the back says
We were just a good thing
We were such a good thing
Make it go away without a word
But promise me you'll stay and fix these things I'm hurt
Oh make it go away
I drive faster boy
Crashing time can't hide a guilty girl
With jealous hearts that start with gloss and curls
I took my baby’s breath beneath the chandelier
Of stars in atmosphere
And watched her disappear
Into the midnight show
~*~"Midnight Show" The Killers

Felt appropriate, because I had my own little midnight show tonight. ;)

Went out to Applebee's again. Rode with Mike P. tonight. He is like a god on earth. He gave me the greatest massage of my life. Seriously it's almost sinful to talk about. Now I know what Dimples (lol) was talking about. Dimples is Mike Tippeli. But we call him that because we can. Plus it will be less confusing for my purposes than talking about 2 Mike's.

Dimples didn't go out with us tonight. He had to go home to his family or something. So I sat with Frank, Judy, Bernie, and Jaime at dinner. Frank is fucking hilarious. And what the hell, he worked with Sean Hayes at a theatre back in the '90s! He was like... yeah I should be getting my card from Sean in a couple days. (His birthday is on Saturday.)

I just got up to watch the TV guide channel, and I'm like, isn't there any good shit on? Answer: NO! Why am I not surprised? *The best kind of prize is a SURprize!*

So next Saturday I'm having people over to my house to hang out after the show. It's gonna kick ass. Theatre people are the best in the world, cause they just love to do what you do. I can't connect to most people the way I do with castmates. (Not including teen workshop crap. Most of those people make me want to actually commit suicide, as happens so often in the plays I'm cast in.) Anywho. Yeah.

Oh man. It's an infomercial for contry superstars. That's unfortunate. Very. Whatever. I still have no good movies down here. It may have to be Nemo again tonight cause I'm not tired at all. I wish I had people I could call right now. I bet at least a third of the cast is up. I could name them, but you guys don't know who they are, so... Yeah.

Oooh. I'm gonna go have a mudslide. We have the mix in the fridge... I'll just add some ice cream. So more later maybe guys. My sleep schedule is so fucked. But I couldn't care less.

Love to all cause love is good!

You & I Both

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
And taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
What you and I spoke of
Others only dream of the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of and others just read of
and if you could see now well I'm already finally out of

and it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of words.
~*~"You & I Both" Jason Mraz

I don't actually listen to Jason Mraz. But Mike was listening to it tonight so I had to put one on here just cause people were making fun of him for it. lol. Anyway.

I just got home. After the show tonight some of us went out to Applebee's to eat cause we were all so damn hungry after the show. Plus it was just fun. And I didn't want to go home. So now everyone here is sleeping, which is good cause I'm wide awake, which brings me here.

Thanks Mike for driving me around. And Emilie's right. Your car does smell nice. ;) Good stuff. I hope I have a nice car like you someday. Or a... haha like I'd say that online! Anywho.

So we had a good time. Let's see... who went... me, Mike, Emilie, Tina, Reid, Judy, Bernie, Frank, Mike P., Andrew, and Stephanie. I think we're going out again tomorrow... more people will go then, when they're not so tired. But I guess we're the hard core or whatever. hah. But it's nice to be going out with people rather than sitting at home, cause all my friends are too lazy to do anything.

The show was awesome tonight. Everyone did a really good job, and I didn't fuck up any props. Thanks Em for reminding me about the shirt. I was so worried something with the props was gonna go wrong. Now I know why Chris was always double and triple checking his stuff during the season. You get really nervous! But yeah, the show was awesome. We had a sold out house that was a really great audience.

Wow they play shit music videos at this time of the morning. Normally I'd be watching a movie, but they're all in my room which is currently occupied by my sleeping grandmother. So I'll leave that alone for the night.But I've got to find something else. I can't listen to rap. Sorry. Anywho. (Everyone else's movies are down here so I put on Finding Nemo.)

Wow. I feel really talkative tonight. Guys I leave in 2 weeks for New York! I'm so excited. But I have a shitload of homework to do before I go, because when I get back I'll have like a week till school. But that's boring shit I don't wanna talk about.

So let's see... what's interesting to talk about? Not much really. Oh. I went to the Art Institute today. It actually wasn't bad. Rachael and I didn't have to watch any kids, so we wandered around, and then went with Etel to visit David Perkovich's shop (you non-theatre people don't know who he is). He has a cool artsy store. So then after we were done there, we went to the architechture store and the orchestra store. It was really awesome. The only thing that sucked was the school-bus ride home with 20 screaming children. Ugh. All in all it wasn't bad though.

I'm just not tired!!! AAAGGGHHH. What the fuck... Can't sleep. I really need to though. Oh look. My buddy list is alerting me that my away message is on. How nice. Like I didn't know. Thanks. Whatever. This post is gonna seem like a piece of shit if I read it later. Too bad.

I wish I had a bunch of interesting things to write about... Like I was out with cool people doing cool things. Actually I was! And I wrote about it! Wow. Ok well then I guess I'm done for now. Yay! Pretty colors! Oh and happy birthday to Dan, who's 16 today!

Love to all cause love is good!

Wonka's Welcome Song

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka...
The amazing chocolatier
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka...
Everybody give a cheer
(Hooray!)

He's modest, clever, and so smart,
He barely can retain it.
With so much generosity,
There is nowhere to contain it...
To contain it... to contain... to contain... to contain.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka...
He's the one that you're about to meet
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka...
He's a genius who just can't be beat,
A magician and a chocolate wiz...
The best darn guy who ever lived.
Willy Wonka here he is!
~*~"Wonka's Welcome Song" Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Hey guys. So glad I can finally post. I haven't been online in a couple weeks. Between Project SAM, Fiddler rehearsal, and the home introduction I had on Sunday, I've had no time for anything else.

Thursday night Molly, my mom, and I went to a midnight showing of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was so awesome! I'm going to see it again tomorrow. Yay! It's really really funny. Just truly ridiculous. But of course that's Johnny.

Then on Friday night after rehearsal Jamie and I met Molly and Borders for the Harry Potter party thing. I wanted to go to the one in Oak Park, but obviously with rehearsal, we didn't have time to get there. We had a good time anyway, and I bought Cry Baby on dvd and the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory soundtrack.

I was extremely busy on Saturday, cleaning and such. The Empire guys came to put down new carpet in the basement and then we had to clean up for Sunday. I had very little time to read on Saturday and Sunday. So Monday I shot through several hundred pages of the book, both at Project SAM and at Jaime's house in the evening, and then I finished it this morning. Quite depressing, I know. I should have read the whole thing on Saturday as I alwats do, but I didn't have the time. It sucked. But now I'm done. It was sooo good. I can't wait for the next one. Of course it was shocking and I cried cause... well I won't spoil it so soon. You guys get a while to catch up. When I do want to talk about it, I'll make it the grey that matches the background. That means you have to highlight it if you want to read it.

Anywho. I open on Friday. Hopefully things will slow down then. My grandma got here today. She'll be here for 2 weeks for Sam's birthday on Thursday.

I'm tired and it's late. I gotta be up early tomorrow for work and I haven't been getting much sleep. More when I have time.

To anonymous, if you want to talk to me (because I can't talk to you if I don't know who you are), send me an e-mail or call me or IM me. I wanna talk!

Love to all cause love is good!

The Complex

I work on the highest floor
There's nothing in my way.
But I saw my picture
On the bathroom door today.
I don't feel like working anymore,
Is that ok?
I'm so far in I can't get out
I made it to the highest floor
By working every day
But I can't remember anymore
What it was like play.
If I could only find the exit door
I'd run away.
I'm so far in I can't get out.
~*~"The Complex" Blue Man Group

Hey guys. So I haven't posted in a long time! But you all know I've been busy.

The beginning of June was filled with learning last minute lines for The Children's Hour and cleaning because Leslie was coming. I had tons of rehearsals the week before the play. My first Fiddler rehearsal was on the 7th.

Leslie came on the 9th. (Johnny's birthday!!!) We went to see I Love you, You're Perfect, Now Change that night at the Royal George Theatre near Steppenwolf. That was pretty cool.

My play went pretty well on the 11th. Sadly, hardly any of my friends showed up. But thanks to Becca, Heather, Amanda, Bev, and Dan for coming, as well, of course, as my family.

Leslie stayed until the 14th. We went downtown almost every day and had lots of fun doing stuff. It was really hot every day, but that's ok. We went on a boat tour on the river that was really neat.

Anywho. So after Leslie left, I had a couple days of downtime. Then on the 17th, 18th, and 19th I had my Landmark advanced course which was super cool. For those of you who remember, this was a continuation of the forum I did in January. (For a refresher, read the Sunday, January 23rd post, Summer, Highland Falls) So Nia and I had a really good time and met a lot of uber cool people. I want everyone to do the forum! You all should be getting invitations to my home introduction... It will be awesome.

Anywho. Project SAM started Monday, that was fun. We have a small group this year. I know most of the kids from before. Rachael and I are teaching creative writing. That's pretty cool. I met our new dance teacher on Wednesday. Her name is Kate. She's young and funky.

I've also been keeping busy with Fiddler rehearsals. Those are lots of fun. We've got a good group of people. So I don't mind coming 4 nights a week in addition to my 3 mornings. That's a lot of time at the theatre.

Been having a Blue Man Group spree. I have both of their CDs and the DVD from the library (cause I'm cheap, remember). It's so awesome! I can't wait to go see them again. I'll probably go with Heather, and Amanda, maybe Zoe and Brianna. We'll see who's available.

Went to see The Servant of Two Masters on Friday night. That was pretty cool. Very funny. If you want to go tonight, it's at 7:30 outside ITC. Go. It's entertaining.

Babysat until 3 last night. 10 hours, guys. That's a long time. I watched BMG 3 times after the kids went to bed, to keep me awake. And I started reading Wicked. Cool book. Can't wait to see the play!

Wow. So that's what I'm up to. Lots of writing, I know. Hopefully I'll post again soon.

Love to all cause love is good!

OMG I Took the Quiz!

Drank: absolutly ;)
Smoked: nope. not ever.
kissed someone of the opposite sex: yes, many times ^_~
kissed someone of the same sex: yep. and i miss her every day
skinny-dipped:nope
failed a class: if a B counts as failing... no.
broke a bone:my thumb, twice. yay! not.
killed someone:violence is not the answer
cried over a boy or girl: yeah
had a death in the family:yeah
ran around in the nude: i doubt it
live in the moment: try my best!
have dreams that keep coming back: always
play an instrument: flute, piano, a lil guitar...
believe that there is life on other planets: anything is possible
read the newspaper: yes. EVERYONE SHOULD!
have any gay or lesbian friends: who doesn't?
believe in miracles: yep
believe that it's possible to remain faithful forever: of course
believe in astrology:most definately
think yourself to be tolerant of others: absolutely.
believe in God: not in the traditional sense. more like, i believe in the Goddess
pray: not really.
go to church: yes! and i luv it!
have any secrets: duh. doesn't everyone? if not, that's a secret to me
talk to strangers that I.M. you: yeah. it's pretty entertaining
have any pets: i do now! a beagle puppy named Kramer... only 9 months old! he's so cute!
do well in school: you betta believe it!
go to college: damn right - NYU as a double major in theatre and english!
have any piercings or tattoos: my ears are pierced. i've thought about my bellybutton and maybe a tatoo, but i dunno if i could deal with the pain of a tatoo
have a best friend: yeah
have an obsession: hahaha. no. i do not have AN obsession. I have many!
collect anything:anything to do with my obsessions. ;)
wish on stars: why not?
have bad habits: not really.
like your handwriting: no
care about looks: yeah, just cause it's fun
This or That: This
Day time or night time:most definately night time. especially in New York. Woot!
Horror or comedy: both
books or t.v.: books. damn TV is awful
beers or spirits: Spirits
disco or rock: rock. Disco is dead! how many times do I have to tell you?
romantic meal for two or gang down at the pub: both, at different times.
flowers or chocolates: Flowers and chocolates
window shopping or shop-til-you-drop: shop til you drop, AFTER window shopping. ;)
curry or Chinese: curry (especially Tim Curry! lol)
innie or outie:innie
"Road Trip" or "American Pie": neither
Financial gain or spiritual gratification:spiritual gratification
fame or quiet life: definately fame.
parental advice of friendly advice: both
green or brown: green
football or soaps: neither
tabloid or broadsheet: nope
happy in life or consistently depressed: happy in life
Yahoo or msn: msn
Ally McBeal or Fraiser: Fraiser
platstation or Nintendo: neither
Cheese or ham: Cheese
Cheesy Christmas gift or unusual nik-nak: unusual nik-nak
blue or black ink: either. but i prefer purple
over the phone or face to face: depends. usually IM.
barbecue or Sunday roast: barbecue
fashionably late or get there early: hard to say... don't want to miss out on the action. but i'd say late, because then I get to make an entrance, and of course I'm the one who brings the action!
atomic kitten or Oasis: Oasis! woot!
plan for the future or let it come to you: plan for the future, and then take it as it comes
chocolate milk or hot chocolate: hot chocolate
micky D's or burger king: nope
sweet or sour: both
root beer or Dr. Pepper: Dr. Pepper
cats or dogs: dogs. cause i like cats but they make me sneeze. *achoo!*
Ocean or pool: Ocean is nicer and more hmmm...romantic
Nacho cheese or Cool ranch: cool ranch
with or without ice cubes: with ice thanks very much
Milk/Dark or White chocolate: white chocolate
Shine or Rain: both
Winter/Spring/Autumn/summer: summer/autumn. esp. in upstate New York their trees are beautiful
Vanilla or Chocolate: chocolate
Skiing or Snowboarding: snowboarding
Biking or blading: biking
Cereal or toast: breakfast?
Rock/ska/punk/rap/r&b/alternative/pop/techno/country/folk/swing: i see no Broadway music! lol. I love all of it. except rap and country.
Bunk Bed or Water Bed: water bed
Gloves or Mittens: Gloves
Eyes opened or closed: when? open, so i can see things.... closed when... well... hehe. ;)
Fly or breathe under water: fly!
motor boat or sail boat: airplane. no. i dunno. either.
chewing gum or hard candy: gum
lights on or off: almost always off. unless it's on stage or in NY at night. ;)
pies or cakes: cakes
Posh or Becks: FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET IT - THIS IS TALKING ABOUT POSH SPICE OR DAVID BECKHAM! I say Beckham, though I was a Spice Girls fan way back when.
On guys
Boxers or briefs? boxer briefs
Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny? sensitive
6 pack or muscular arms? 6 pack... and the V!
good guy or bad guy? bad boy. but not STUPID.
long hair or short hair? mid lengthy. so it has some movement.
dark hair or blonde hair? dark
tall or short? medium-short
dark or light eyes? either. as longs as they're pretty.
stubble or neatly shaved? depends on the guy
ears peirced or no? doesn't matter
Accent or not? OMG defiantely an accent. *faint*
Rugged outdoorsy or sporty? no.
Big hands or regular size? regular. cause mine are little
who is your dream man? hehe. must you ask? Johnny Depp all the way! (followed by an onslaught of gay men, Hugh Jackman, Ewan McGregor, and Jude Law. Wow. I really do like accents, don't I?)
curly or straight hair? depends on the guy. but usually straight.
Tan or Fair skinned? either
On Girls
Hair color? dark
personality? funky and original, outgoing and a dreamer.... ambitious and thoughtful
what turns you on about a girl? i don't really know. isn't it odd? i just... ahh! I miss my girl. ;)
what is the ultimate song for your ultimate girl? I dunno.
who do you think is your ultimate girl? well besides people I know and love, I heart Nicole Kidman, Cathrine Zeta Jones, Charlize Theron (I do like the accents. goodness!)
what would you consider the "perfect moment"? wow. I can't tell you that. too personal.
sweet or sassy? probably sassy, but with a sweet side
girly-girl or tom-boy? neither. just a girl. geez
tall or short? medium-short
deep or shallow? deep - very. :)
quiet or loud? both
nice or mean? nice but speaks her mind
friendly or selfish? friendly
weird or original? definately both. but especially original.
normal or special? special
smart or stupid? smart
boring or fun? fun
attractive or unattractive? attractive
The 5's (THE FAB 5!!!)
5 thing that scare me~not achieveing my dreams, not having friends, losing my family, being stuck here forever, um... big flying bugs like horse flies???
5 things that makes me laugh~ my family, my friends, myself, QE/Will and Grace, Johnny
5 things I love~being there for friends/family, BROADWAY/ theatre, Johnnt and his movies, gay people, New York
5 things I hate~homophobia, ignorance, hypocricy, passive-aggressive ness, being shallow
5 things I don't understand~boys, ^the things i hate^, video games, most television shows, liking violence
5 negative facts about me~ I'm too bossy, I take over, I sometimes focus too much on the future to enjoy the moment, I have a very obsessive personality.... um... I suck at video games?
5 positive facts about me~ I am one of the most determined persistent people you will ever meet, I'm totally liberal and love every minute of it, I'm confident anda dreamer, I love learning, my friends, and my family, I know what I want to do with my future!
5 things I plan to do before I die~ perform in RENT on Broadwy, travel around the world, meet someone who will change my life and love me forever, make a movie with Johnny Depp, do something amazing to change the world and show my friends and family how much i love them
5 things I can do~ read, love, act/dance/sing, travel, dream
Top 5 songs I think are cool~ That's really hard. um.... anything from RENT; Defying Gravity from Wicked; Don't Go Away by Oasis; Summer, Hightland Falls; and Goodnight Saigon by Billy Joel but there are so many more
5 things that turn me on about the opposite sex~Eyes, personality, smile, hair, and of course the body (sorry Alonzo, you had good answers)
5 things I say the most~indeed, muahahahahaha, thanks for that, fabulous, i'm just peachy, how are you?

Woot! All done! That took 51 minutes for me to complete!

Love to all cause love is good!